Upside down
by squiggle7
Summary: Story about AbbyCarterSusanLuka. Set mid season 11 but no spoilers. Abby has a new man, Kem has left Carter and gone back to Africa, Luka and Sam are back together and Susan has had her baby and is back at work. Hope you enjoy it and please R&R.
1. Loving each day

Chapter 1. Lovin' each day. 

Abby turned into the ambulance bay and slowly wandered into the ER, a dreamy smile upon her face. She was greeted by a buzz of activity, talking, shouting, crying. Weaver screaming in the distance. 

"Morning Jerry," she chirped as she made her way to the doctor's lounge. 

"Morning." Came the muffled reply through a mouthful of bagel. 

She hung her coat in her locker, slipped on her doctor's coat and draped her stethoscope around her neck, ready for another 12 hour shift. As she walked towards admit she spotted Susan who shot her a sly grin. Before she could reach the desk and pick an easy case to ease into the day she was intercepted by a cranky looking Carter. 

"LOL in 4 with end-stage renal failure, 16 year old female in 2 with probable pneumonia and broken arm in 1" said Carter as he dumped a pile of charts into Abby's arms. 

"And good morning to you too" she smirked as she made her way towards exam 4. 

Susan was just about to follow Abby when Carter came over and asked "What was she so happy about?" 

"Oh, I think he goes by the name of Mike" Susan replied, smiling. 

For some reason Carter felt hurt by this. He didn't know why, he had broken up with Abby over two years ago. Their relationship had just got too messy. Susan tried to leave but Carter tailed her. 

"Who's Mike?" Said Carter enquiringly. 

"Just someone she met at a nightclub we go to sometimes. Why are you jealous?" She joked. 

"No." Retorted Carter in a somewhat defensive tone. Susan started towards exam 4. "How long has she been seeing him?" He added quickly, eager to know. 

"A couple of months I think" She called back. She left Carter standing alone at the admit desk, his mood even lower than it had been 10 minutes earlier. 

~*~*~*~ 

Abby was just finishing the chart when Susan walked in. She handed it to Haleh to fill out the prescription. 

"So...?" Said Susan eagerly. 

"So what?" Abby smirked back. 

"Oh, come on. I've been dying of suspense waiting to find out. And then I got stuck having to have a conversation with Carter" she laughed. "I want some juicy details." 

"It went fine." Said Abby, trying to be matter-of-fact. 

"Oh come on. It must have been more than fine going by that huge grin on your face" 

"OK, it was more than fine." She said happily content. "It was great." 

She felt like a silly schoolgirl divulging all the details to Susan but she was so excited she just couldn't help herself. She was high on happiness and she didn't want to hide it. 

"He proposed" she blurted out. She just couldn't help herself. 

"Oh my god!" Giggled Susan, who seemed more excited than Abby. "Can I be a bridesmaid?" 

"What makes you think I said yes?" Said Abby, in a subtly sarcastic manner. Susan's eyes pleaded with her. "OK, OK, I'm joking. Of course I said yes!" Abby beamed. "And I'm sure you can be a bridesmaid." 

Weaver stuck her head round the door. "Susan, Abby, double MVA. 2 minute ETA." 

"OK." They both replied. Abby looked at Susan in a way that told her not to tell Carter. 

"I promise, Scout's honour." She said, holding three fingers to her forehead. 

~*~*~*~ 


	2. Make it easy on me

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed chapter 1, it's much appreciated.**

****

**Chapter 2: Make it easy on me.**

Abby and Mike rounded the corner into the ambulance bay. Out of the corner of her eye, Abby caught a glimpse of Carter playing basketball. She hoped he didn't turn around and see her with Mike. She didn't want him to know but she didn't know why. Maybe because he'd be happy for her and she would know that he had moved on. Maybe because he'd be upset because he hadn't. Maybe just because she hated the way he had control of her emotions and feelings without even knowing it. 

"Thanks for walking me to work" smiled Abby and planted a goodbye kiss on Mike's cheek. 

"The pleasure's all mine" he replied and kissed her forehead. She started to move when he gently pulled her back towards him. 

"One for the road?" He said and she grinned. 

Carter stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Abby and Mike standing on the corner. He didn't want to look obvious but he couldn't help but stare. As Abby started towards the ER, Carter quickly turned to shoot a hoop as if he hadn't been watching but he completely missed. The ball rebounded off the wall and Abby caught it. 

"Here" she said as she handed the ball back to Carter. 

"Thanks" he replied, in an unappreciative tone. "So were you ever gonna tell me?" He blurted out before he could even realise what he had said. 

"What?" Said Abby defensively, a puzzled expression on her face. 

He thought for a minute. He couldn't think of an excuse. There wasn't really a way out of it now; he'd started so he better finish. 

"Well?" Said Abby, starting to get impatient. 

"About Mike? You're infamous boyfriend I've heard so much about?" He said in a spiteful manner. He didn't mean for it to come out like that and he knew it. He didn't know what had gotten into him lately. 

"What?" She said once again, this time sounding slightly more surprised. Why did he have to do this now? Her shift hadn't even started and he had to put a damper on her spirits. She hated the way he could do this to her. 

"Well, were you ever gonna tell me?" He said again. Why was he doing this, he thought to himself? Why did he care? He couldn't stop her seeing other men. 

"You never asked" retorted Abby, angrily. She knew this wasn't the real reason she hadn't told him but she just didn't want to, and even if she did she didn't know how. 

"Well, how come everyone else knows." He didn't know this was true but he wanted to make her feel guilty for not telling him. 

"Oh get over yourself Carter!" She was hurt by what he had just said. The only person she had told was Susan and she promised not to tell. At that moment Luka came out of the ER. 

"There's a GSW on the way, 5 minutes out" he said. Abby took this as a sign to dive inside. Carter lobbed the basketball hard at the net in anger. 

"What was that all about?" Asked Luka as he handed Carter a gown and some gloves. 

"Nothing" Carter stated. 

"Didn't look like nothing to me" 

"Well, it was so just leave it, OK?" 

"OK" Luka said. He had been friends with Carter long enough to know not to push it any further. He would open up when he was ready. 

"Mike." Carter mumbled. 

"Wha...?" 

"It's about Mike." Cutting Luka off mid-sentence. 

"Who's Mike?" Luka asked. 

"I'm such an idiot. Why did I have to go and say anything?" 

"Carter you're not making much sense" Luka said. 

"She doesn't make it any easier on me." He was clearly talking to himself now. 

"Carter, are you OK?" Luka questioned, worried that his friend was going slightly mad. He had seemed rather stressed of late. The ambulance screeched round the corner and snapped Carter out of it. 

"Oh, yeah fine. Just fine." He mumbled, unconvinced. 

"Did you tell Carter about me and Mike?" Abby asked Susan as they prepared the trauma room. 

"No." 

"Are you sure?" Abby pleaded. She knew Susan wouldn't lie to her but she needed reassurance. 

"Yeah I promised. Scout's honour, remember." She smiled, holding up a three fingered salute. 

"Well, he knows and he seems angry." 

"Are you sure?" Susan asked as she passed a gown to Abby. 

"Well, he just had a go at me in the ambulance bay." She replied, pulling on her gloves. 

"Jerk" said Susan, rolling her eyes. 

"Why does he have to make it so hard?" Abby knew the only person with the answer to that question was Carter but she sure as hell wasn't going to ask him. Not after the little outburst she had just witnessed. Susan was about to say something when the trauma doors swung open and Luka and Carter wheeled the gurney in. 

"Later" Susan said to Abby as she left the room. 

"Yeah, later." Abby mumbled to herself. 


	3. Time heals?

So here is chapter 3. I hope you have all enjoyed reading it so far. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed for me so far. I know it has taken me ages to write and post but I had exams. Anyhow, here's a quick recap of chapters 1 and 2: Abby is engaged to her new boyfriend Mike and then Carter and Abby have an argument about it. Please R&R, it's gratefully appreciated.

Chapter 3 Time heals?

The atmosphere in the trauma room was heavy with tension. Both Abby and Carter glowered at each other but neither one spoke. Even Luka and Sam could feel the unease and all four wanted to get out of there as quickly as they could. Luka took the lead as neither Abby or Carter would and he started yelling out orders. 

The trauma was messy; they worked on the patient for over an hour in all but silence before he was finally taken up to the OR. Carter snapped off his gloves and lobbed them on the floor as he hastily left the room leaving Abby, Luka and Sam standing there. Luka looked at Abby who was staring at the floor. 

"Are you OK?" He said. 

"Oh, um...yeah. I'll be fine." She rubbed her tired eyes; the day had taken so much of her already. "I better get back to work." She said, making her way out of the room. She was going to have to try and avoid seeing Carter but that was going to be difficult she thought to herself. 

"What was all that about?" Sam piped up sounding confused. 

"I don't really know," replied Luka, still staring down the corridor at Abby, "Um...I have to go find Susan." 

He found Susan in exam 4 taking a patient's history. "Hey, are you busy?" He asked her as he poked his head around the door. 

She looked up at him then continued to write something on a chart. "No, not really, why?" She knew as soon as she said this that her day would be jinxed and she would be rushed off her feet later. 

"Do you want to go get some coffee?" 

"Yeah sure, just give me a minute." She said. 

Susan and Luka made their way towards the coffee stand just down the road from the ER. The air was crisp and icy but the sun was shining. "Nice weather" said Luka, not really knowing where or how to start the conversation. 

"Um...yeah," said Susan looking a little confused. "So you didn't bring me out here to talk about the weather. What's up?" 

"I'm worried about Carter. I saw him and Abby arguing this morning and then in the trauma they were really weird with each other, I just wondered if you knew what was going on?" He said. 

"Two coffees please," Susan said to the attendant as they reached the coffee stand. 

"I really don't know, all I know is that Abby seemed quite upset." She said in answer to Luka's question. 

"Do you think he's jealous of Mike?" Asked Luka, although he couldn't think of a reason why Carter should be. He didn't think Carter still thought of Abby in that way. 

"I don't know. Do you want me to talk to him?" Asked Susan. 

"Yeah, try and find out what's going on with him. See if we can get them to make up because I can't stand all the tension; it makes working with them difficult. 

By now they had made their way back to the ER entrance. 

"Good luck." Luka said holding open the door. 

"Yeah thanks, I might need it!" She laughed. 

Susan found Carter in exam 4 suturing up the hand of a man who had had an accident with a window. 

"Hey, I need to have a word with you." She said as she pulled up a stool and perched beside Carter. Already he could tell that this conversation was not going to go where he wanted it to. 

"What's up?" He said. 

"That's what I'd like to know. Are you OK Carter?" Her tone was sincere. "We're all really worried about you, you always seem so down." 

"It's nothing, I'm fine." He said defensively. He was grateful for her concern but he didn't want to talk about it; it was so muddled in his own head that even he didn't understand it. "I'm just tired, that's all." He carried on. 

"Well, if you're sure you're OK," she said, although she was certain that there was something he wasn't letting on she didn't want to push him. "I do think you should talk to Abby though, she seemed pretty upset." 

"And say what?" Abby was the last person he wanted to talk to after the fool he'd made of himself earlier that day. 

"Well, sorry might be a good place to start." She answered sarcastically, raising her eyebrows and staring questioningly at Carter. He stared back at her and he knew she was right, however much he hated the fact. 

"OK, OK." He said, giving in. 

Standing in the ambulance bay everything suddenly slotted into place for Carter. He stood attentively watching Abby's slight frame as she raised her hand to her mouth and slowly drew on her cigarette. She had not seen him standing there behind her. In his mind it all became very clear; it was not Abby that made Carter angry but everything she now had. While her life had gradually come together his had been slowly unravelling. 

Kem had left almost 6 months ago. He missed her and he missed their baby; the life he had so happily played out in his mind. He thought that time would heal his wounds but instead they festered, infecting every cell in his body. Today had been the day his fever broke and Abby had taken the full brunt of the force. 

He cautiously moved towards Abby, wary of her response after the way he had acted towards her that morning. He guessed she had been avoiding him ever since and he didn't really blame her. He decided to go for a jokey approach to break the ice and ease himself into the conversation. 

"I thought you quit" he quipped. 

She hadn't heard him come up behind her and was slightly startled. So much for her trying to avoid him. "Yeah," she smiled sheepishly, "I did." She stubbed the cigarette out against the wall. 

Both stood for a moment in awkward silence, staring down at the floor. Carter was searching for the right words. Apologies were not one of his strongest attributes as Abby had previously found out. 

Abby looked up at his face. It looked broken and dishevelled. All her pent up anger vanished from her as she stared into his weary eyes. She touched his arm and he flinched: he had not been expecting it. 

"Carter, it's OK." She said in a gentle voice. She smiled at him and started to make her way back towards the ER doors; her break was almost over and Weaver would soon be on the warpath. 

Carter stood there, still silent, still willing the words to come to him. 

"No. No, it's not OK." He said. "I acted like and idiot; I was way out of line and you should hate me but I'm sorry," His voice quavered and his eyes began to fill with tears, "I'm really, really sorry." He mumbled trying hard to hold his composure. 

Abby pulled him into a hug. "I don't hate you," she said reassuringly, "I could never hate you." 

He wanted to stand there forever; to forget everything around him but her voice pulled him back to reality. 

"I gotta go." She said. "You know what Weaver's like. Will you be OK?" 

"Yeah, sure." 

Abby turned and walked back into the ER. Carter sank his body into the bench and his head into his hands and cried. 


	4. Who's gonna stop the rain?

**So here's Chapter 4. Sorry it's taking me such a long time to write, I don't know what's up with me. So this one's quite long but I hope you enjoy it. Thanks to everyone who reviewed it so far, please keep it up!**

Chapter 4: Who's gonna stop the rain?

The rain hammered down on the window as the light of the screaming alarm lit up the darkened room. The screen flashed 7.02am. In the corner of the room a baby started to cry. 

Susan sleepily fumbled with the off switch and slid wearily out of bed. She pulled on a sweater and pushed her tousled hair out of her eyes. She walked over to the crib in the corner and looked down at her daughter. 

"Come on then, Gracie." She said as she bent down and picked up the baby. She glanced over at the bed and saw that it was ruffled but empty. 

"Chuck?" She called out. The apartment was silent. "I bet daddy's fallen asleep in front of the TV again." She said to the baby in a tone that sounded as if this was a regular occurrence. She walked out into the living room but he wasn't there. 

"Chuck?" She called once again. She made her way into the kitchen with the baby still in her arms. Upon the table lay a scrawled note. 

You looked so beautiful asleep I just couldn't wake you. Got called into work, sorry babe xxx. 

She knew the real he hadn't woken her was because she would be angry with him. And she was angry with him. He was supposed to be looking after the baby while she pulled a shift but now Grace would have to go to day care. 

She glanced at the clock. 7.17am. Her shift started in precisely 43 minutes but she wasn't even dressed. 

"I think we're going to be late." She said to Grace but she just smiled and gurgled. 

"""""""""""" 

Abby leant against the kitchen cabinet holding a mug of steaming coffee. She stared, carefully contemplating each drop of rain running down the window. Her thoughts were spinning round a thousand times within her head and she hadn't been able to sleep. She glanced at the clock. 7.24am. She had already been awake for three and a half hours. 

Mike walked out of the bedroom drawing the duvet around him close to keep out the cold. 

"Hey, there you are," he said. "I wondered where you'd gone. I was starting to get lonely." 

She forced a smile. "I just couldn't sleep." 

"You OK?" He asked. "You look a bit pale." He stared deep into her dark brown eyes. She glanced away. 

"I'm just tired, that's all." 

"Well, come back to bed then. Please?" He slid his arms around her waist; she closed her bleary eyes and leant her head on his shoulder. All her thoughts just melted away. This is where she wanted to stay. 

"I can't. I have to go to work." 

"Call in sick," he said. 

"I can't. I'm already running late." 

She made her way to the bathroom and softly closed the door behind her. She switched on the shower and sat on the side of the bathtub, holding her head in her hands. 

""""""""""""" 

Luka sat in his parked car watching the rain lashing down heavily on the windscreen. He looked at the clock on the dashboard. 7.32am. They were going to be late but there was nothing new there. He beeped his horn to remind them of his presence. 

Sam peered out of the window on to the car below. "Come on Alex, hurry up!" She shouted. "We're gonna be late. Again." 

She picked up the phone and started to dial. 

"I'm not going!" Alex shouted back. "I already told you!" 

Luka's cell phone rang, which made him jump with surprise. 

"Hello?" He answered. 

"Sorry, we're just on our way down." Said Sam. "Come on Alex!" 

"I told you I'm not going!" Came the answer in the background. 

"Hold on, I'll be right up." Said Luka. 

"No, don't worry, you'll get soaked." She said. "We _will _be down in a minute." Luka knew this wasn't true. Alex hated school and wanted to stay home with Luka and Sam so he had taken to causing trouble every morning. They had played this scenario out for the past 3 weeks and although Luka had started to love Alex as his own it didn't make him any less difficult to deal with. 

"I'll be up in a minute." He said. He climbed out the car and was instantly drenched but it didn't matter, he would just put on some scrubs when they eventually arrived at work. It didn't take long to persuade Alex to get in the car once he had been bribed with a trip to the ER but they were still going to be late. 

"""""""""""""""""" 

Carter sat alone listening to the sound of the rain bouncing off the window ledge. It was quiet compared to the sound of his own pounding heart. He stared at the telephone that sat on the table beside him as if by doing this for long enough it might dial itself and he wouldn't have to work up the courage to do it himself. He glanced down at the crumpled piece of paper in his hand and then at his watch. 7.46am. He had to be at work at 8am but he had to ring her sooner or later. 

His hands trembled as he slowly picked up the receiver and dialled the number. An unfamiliar voice answered. 

"Hello. Can I help you?" 

He wasn't prepared and fumbled for words. "Um...er...hello...um...can I speak to Kem please?" 

"I'm sorry, you must have the wrong number. There's no-one here by that name." 

"Oh" he said. He felt gutted by this news. 

"Well, if that's everything..." Came the voice on the end of the line. 

"No, wait!" He thought for a moment. "What about Makemba? Makemba Likasu?" 

"Can I ask who's calling?" 

"John. John Carter." His heart was racing with sheer anticipation. She must be there or he wouldn't have been asked to hold. He was going to be able to talk to her. 

"One moment please." The voice trailed off and he could hear mumbled conversation in the background. He remembered his time in Africa and pictured the hospital. He imagined Kem there now, busily tending to her patients, preparing to talk to him. He hung on the line for what seemed like well over 10 minutes before the strange voice came back. 

"I'm afraid she's busy. She said not to ring again." Then came the dial tone. 

He replaced the receiver and sat shocked and devastated by this news. He thought she'd be happy to hear from him. Why didn't she want to talk to him? He had so much to say, surely she must have too. He didn't want to believe that everything they'd shared could disappear so quickly. Only the rain on the window broke the oppressive silence that now possessed the room. 

""""""""""""""""""" 

"Abby, Susan, Luka, John and Sam I want to see all of you in the Doctor's lounge. Now!" Screamed Weaver from down the hall. She had obviously seen them congregating at the admit desk. 

"She does _not_ look happy." Susan whispered to Abby. 

"Yeah, she's not." Piped in Frank looking rather smug. 

"Would someone please tell me what time the clock on the wall reads?" Interrogated Weaver. Everyone remained silent staring from clock to wall to floor and back again but no-one dared to meet her gaze. "Well?" Came her shrill, piercing voice. "Luka, perhaps?" 

"It's 9.02am Dr Weaver." He replied. 

"So you can tell the time. Amazing. So how come every single one of you was late for your 8am shift this morning?" She barked. "Dr Lewis, 8.19am. Dr Kovac, 8.26am. Sam, 8.26am. Dr Lockhart, 8.39am and Dr Carter, 8.52am. What am I meant to do if a trauma comes in and I'm down three attendings, one resident and one nurse?" 

Still they all remained silent. 

"You leave me no option but to punish you all accordingly. Lucky for you I haven't yet done the Christmas schedule but you will now all work the Christmas Day shift." 

"But..." Started Susan. 

"No buts. That's the final word. If you can't get here on time you have to pay the price." She turned to leave. 

"Hang on a minute Kerry." Said Luka. "Don't you think you're being a bit harsh. Some of us have kids to think about. Can't we discuss this?" 

"No, and it's Dr Weaver." Came the answer. With that, she stormed out. 

"Evil witch." Susan fumed.


	5. Friday on my mind

**Chapter 5: Friday on my mind.**

"Abby…Abby wake up." Said Susan. Abby jolted her head up as she snapped back to consciousness. She pushed her hair from her face and stared in confusion at the pile of charts scattered haphazardly across the table. She didn't remember closing her eyes. She didn't remember resting her head on the table.

"Coffee?" asked Susan.

Abby looked up. She felt dazed. She hadn't even realised Susan had been standing in front of her.

"Um…yeah." She replied after taking a moment to think it through. Maybe coffee would help her stay awake.

Susan poured two cups of coffee. It was unlike Abby to fall asleep at work. She wondered if something was wrong.

"Are you OK?" she questioned. "Only you've been rather quiet for the past few days, has something happened with Mike?"

"No, it's not Mike. I'm just…" she paused, deliberating what to say. "Just tired. That's all."

It wasn't a lie. She had hardly slept all night. Or the night before that. It was just the reason for her lack of sleep that she hadn't told anybody. If she told someone that would make it real and she wasn't sure she was ready for that. Not just yet.

"You know you can talk to me anytime OK?" Susan said; sure that there was something Abby wasn't letting on. " Well, except right now because I've really got to go fetch Grace from day-care."

Abby smiled and shook her head. "Thanks." She was grateful to have such a great friend in Susan.

"No problem" Susan replied as she headed out the door.

Abby sat for a while aimlessly staring at the bottom of her coffee cup, still pondering all the charts she had left to finish. She needed more coffee.

As she got up to make another cup Luka wandered into the Doctor's lounge.

"Hey." He greeted her.

"Hey." She replied. "Want some coffee?"

"Oh, no thanks. I'm off now. I'm taking Sam and Alex away for the weekend."

"Anywhere nice?" She inquired. She wished she were going away somewhere; instead she would be stuck in the ER all weekend.

"Up to the lakes, I rented a motor home again."

"Have fun." She said.

"And you." He responded sarcastically, staring at the mess on the table. "Bye."

As he stepped outside into the frozen iciness of the ambulance bay Luka spotted Carter sitting on the bench; he looked so downcast and mournful.

"You'll catch you death out here if you stay too long; it's freezing." Commented Luka, rubbing his hands together to create warmth. He sat down on the bench beside Carter.

"Don't you have some place to be?" Asked Carter, not really wanting his wallowing disturbed.

"No, I told Sam I'd wait for her while she went to pick up Alex from school."

"Great" Carter mumbled under his breath. "That's just great." He got up off the bench ready to head back inside. It was obvious that he was in a foul mood once again.

"Carter what is wrong with you lately?" demanded Luka. "You mood is just up and down like a yo-yo and it's starting to affect everyone around you. What is going on?"

Carter sat back down. Luka was right; it was starting to affect everyone around him. He needed to get out of the downward spiral he was on but he still couldn't figure out how. "I'm sorry." He said.

They sat in silence for a while. Finally Carter came out and told Luka about the phone call. About the fact that Kem hadn't wanted to talk to him; didn't ever want to talk to him again.

"I'm sorry." Was now Luka's reply. He thought back to the time he had lost his own family. How much it had hurt, how alone he felt and how desolate the future had looked.

"You should go to Africa Carter; you have to go and see her one final time."


End file.
